More Funnies

Here's a collection of the mails I've been receiving from various lads over the last few days -

• Usman Bello - I receive my credentials from heaven , I receive my law degree from inside God , my rank is in house of God in heaven , I hope I have clear you
• Morine christioan dickson - but i promise to call you if i can be able to borrow some money from my felow refugee girl friends. but please i want to know weather you have received any reply from the AMERICA STATE BANK please because i want to know what the bank director will say please .
• James Peters asking to be serious - Good day,please note that I am not in way willing to be engaged in endless e mail , please if you really feel you read my e mail very well before contacting me then you better you live up to expectations otherwise we call it a quit afterwards the end will be for our benefit so i cannot be begging you. Go back to my first mai to you.
• Morice apparently has had enough - Thanks for your polite insult.Not one human on this planet is stupid.I am above such abusive idomatic expression.Is better you say good bye.
  Thanks
  Morice.
• Lennox discusses my plan to get a learjet - I received all your emails. Good a thing you are making plans to further a Career in Aviation. Apparently,It is a lucrative sector. Are you planning to go commercial like Brand son or you intent to fly for leisure? Learjet is quiet an Expensive airplane.
  
  He also doesn't like questions - I received your mail. Your questions are quite enormous at this time. Funny enough, you always have questions to ask when you have not taking time to answer mine. I should be more curious about knowing you better.Than you questioning my position in this project. Hence, i will decide to suspend further disclosure about myself till you are able to offer me the answers I DEMAND.
• Susan is either a lesbian or doesn't get that i'm playing a female - Honey
  You are the very air that I breathe, the very love that I need, my heart, my soul, my everything. The sweetest of my memories come when I think of you.
  
  
  last night I dream of heaven, and I'd gotten used to the idea that they are looking for an angel, one that went missing the day you stepped into my life, the day all my sorrows were washed away and I took a step into the impossible, crossing the margin from natural to supernatural. You are my angel and forever you will be.
  The one whose memories I will treasure forever till the day I turn into an angel like you.
  you are going to help me find i job that i am going to be doing so that i can be helping you in some house bills , and i am going to be cooking your best food and i am going to be cooking some african Food for you and i know that you are going to love it
  can you be make love 3 time ever day?
  i have ask how much is going to cost for me to be with you ,and the airlines AGENT company told me that my air tickter to your country is going to cost you $1200 us dollers and this the company contact here you can call the company or email the company.
  SENEGAL AIR PORT -AGENT-TICKTER
  CEO AGENT
  MR AHMED .M
  DAKAR SENEGAL AIRPORT
  susan
• Mahim is chatty -
  I appreciate the fact that, notwithstanding the amount of people in your apartment, you still find time to relate with me, hoping you are being confidential. Actually exposing this transaction is not the case, what is there is, do you trust people to that extend?
  People might laugh with you and play with you, behind they turn to stab you. I have given myself to embark on this project, not because, I trust you or know you to disclose this information to you, NO. The board of directors do not recognise the effort we employees of the bank are making to keep the bank in service.
  The fund in question, belongs to a deceased customer. Should no one come forward to claim the fund, it will be depositted in the bank's treausry as an unclaimed fund. I want to believe you are conversant with this type of transaction, all the same, with my banking experience, I will aide you through.
  What is there now, is for you to apply to the bank as the business partner to the deceased, whatever the bank sends you, kindly and do not hesitate to let me see it, so as to give you instructions on what to do.
  Following your questions, I am a kind of solitudial person, when am not at work, I am at home reading and doing one or two things with my children. I love children soo much and part of my share of this fund, if successfully transfered, will be used for charitable homes, such as motherless babies home etc.
  I thank you once again for the reply and I hope you will let me know your decision to assist me.
  Best wishes,
  
  Mahim.