Kola Ibrahim is testy

As with every relationship, it starts out so sunnily.

My name is Mr Kola Ibrahim; I am the regional manager of International
Commercial bank of Ghana Koforidua branch in the Eastern region of Ghana.

I got your information on a recent bank conference with other West African
countries held in Lome the capital city of Togo in West Africa . I write you this proposal in good faith; I am 47 years old married with two lovely kids. I am a devoted Christian and a man of peace.

I have packaged a financial transaction that will benefit you and me, as the regional manager of the International Commercial bank; it is my duty to send in a financial report to my head office in the capital city Accra at the end of each business year. on the course of the last year 2005 business report, I discovered that my branch in which I am the manager made sum of Twenty - seven million four hundred thousand united state dollars($27,400,000.00) which my head office are not aware of and will never be aware of. I have placed this funds on what we call fixed call account with no
beneficiary. As an officer of this bank

I cannot be directly connected to this money, so my aim of contacting you is to assist me receive this money in your bank account and get 30% of the total funds as commission. There are practically no risks involved, it will be a bank to bank transfer, and all I need from you is to stand claim as the original depositor of these funds who made the deposit in my branch so that my head office can order the transfer to your designated bank account.

If you accept to work with me I will appreciate it very much. My private phone number is 00233 244 875346 call me if you think we can work together so that we can go over the details. Thank you in advance and May God bless you and your family. Please don't forget to send me your personal contacts, addresses and phone numbers.

Yours Truly
Mr. Kola Ibrahim

A few nonsequitors is all it took to get Kola a little miffed. Peeved even.

Please if you interested in this business you let me know and if you are not interested please still let me know so that I know what to do.

I didn't like his attitude. Not one bit. And I told him so.

Listen, I don't like your attitude at all. NOT ONE FUCKING BIT!!!!!!!!! His heart is upheld, he will not fear, until he looks with satisfaction on his adversaries.

I want you to send me 3,250USD immediately if not sooner. If you don't then May you be pursued into the mountains by sex-mad baboons.. Call me immediately at +447092882462

You are a fucknut.

Oh Kola, what happened?

I HAVE FOUND OUT THAT YOU ARE A JOKER.
I DON'T DO BUSINESS WITH JOKERS
BYE

By this point I got down to brass tacks. I wrote simply:

certainly fucknut

Maybe I gave myself away with that though.

I SAID YOU CAN DO YOUR BUSINESS ELSE WHERE NOT WITH ME ANY MORE. YOU ARE NOT FOR BUSINESS.
KOLA

Come back Kola. Don't leave me this way. . . .