You *must* see and hear this.. :)

What will a lad do in order to get what he wants? Anything theFailure tells him to do.. :)

theFailure, the baiter who brought you Anus Laptops, and the Martins Cole saga (you need to register to see this one but it is entirely worth it, you'll laugh for hours) has currently got a bait going with a lad. Much of it has been posted on scambaits in the members area so if you want to see it all you can click here and register. But if not, make sure to check the following out. Wilson's place (mostly work safe, all genitalia has been censored, the murder scene is all red paint thanks to the lad) is the website theFailure's character has created and the lad is none to happy about it, as you can hear in this audio here with theFailure's character Wilson and audio death threats! And this audio here where theFailure is playing 3 characters at once including Butch Driveshaft, one of his other very famous characters, too and then Butch goes nuts and hurts Wilson, one of his other characters. Be assured, no scambaiters were shot in the head during the creation of this audio, it's all to mess with the *lad's* head! Be warned the audios contain language of a non-work/kid-safe nature.

In my opinion, theFailure is very badly named. He should be called theSuccess!

A new record?

I think this is the longest mail I've ever received from a lad; and it has some very interesting thoughts about the world we live in today (I had gotten it a couple of weeks ago and had forgotten about it until just now):

Subject: RE: URGENT URGENT TO REPLY

Dear Mabilla Livermore,

Thanks for your mail,I understood all you said thanks for your trust and I
promise not to let you down from date tell the end of this transaction and
hoping to have a continue business relationship with you.

The IFFCC warning information has been in existence for some years now. It is
nothing new. Furthermore, for your information, there is also an organisation
known as "The 419 Coalition" in the U.S.A. This organisation is jointly
founded
by both the Governments of the U.S.A. and Nigeria; though the American and
Nigerian Government will not openly admit it. This two government
agreed to use
those business proposal found on internet is to discourage international
business men like you not to assist Nigeria citizens from moving fund out of
the country because alot of fund has been snatched out of the country through
this way by the past government. / and is still being comfirmed by the
Nigerian
Govt. as a means of reducing(discouraging) the rate at which foreign companies
and individuals were and are still assisting Nigerian top ranking officails in
tranferring huge sums of money(foreign currency usually in US dollars) out of
Nigeria. It can only be reduced but not stopped for it is still going on even
as you read this mail. Please go to www.thisdayonline.com/ and go to the
recent papers' edition
You will find enough materials to proof how people from your "Holy and
Saintly
West" and their "Snow-white clean Banks" assisted the late and former Head of
State of Nigeria, Gen. Sani Abacha in looting billions of Nigeria's oil
money(petrodollars). I am sure you can find other publications and materials
in Europe(London) and the U.S. to buttress this point further. Much of the
looted funds are still in various banks in Europe and America,
Asia,Hong kong
and probably Indonesia ;.....oiling and fueling their economies.

I do not know of any country in Africa, Middle-East, Latin America
(except Cuba)
and Asia (remember the case of late President Marcos of the
Phillipines?) where
her leaders and some of their top government officials/politicians do not
transfer millions of dollars abroad. All these tranfers have been and will
always be with the active participation of people and the banks in America,
Canada,Europe and to some extent,the former Soviet block countries . Only
former presidents MANDELA of South Africa and NYERERE of Tanzania stand out as
clean and clear EXCEPTIONS. Truth is bitter but must be said ; like you have
forced me to do

THE HOLIER THAN THOU ATTITUDE".It is very interesting to see how you Americans
and your Government accuse other people of all sorts of things ranging from
insincerity,dishonesty,outright fraud and even terrorism. But
unfortunately and
ironically,these same vices are the hallmarks of American life, society and
American Government Foreign Policy decisions.They also happen to be America's
major exports to the rest of the world at a time when Japan (plus her Asian
Tigers) and some European countries are busy exporting useful products,
appropriate useful technologies and of course, peace. Just see for youself;

The only American President in the recent past that meant good to
Americans and
to the rest of the world (particularly here in Africa) was President Bill
Clinton. He was honest,sincere, unselfish and forthright. He is regarded as a
Hero in most of Africa, except perhaps in Libya and this is quite
understandable. But some of your very rich and conservative Americans in an
unholy alliance with the hawks in the Republican Party(plus a few blackship
Democrats) tried very hard to tarnish his 8-years enviable tenor with the
Monica Lewinsky affair. Considering the time this affair was blown up to the
American public, it was clear that it was done to tarnish his image and target
Al-gore who was then the Vice-President and Presidential candidate of the
Democratic party. You people then completed the script by conducting and
condoning the most CONTROVERSIAL election in America's recent history. You
closed your mouths and ears as Governor Bush of the state of Florida employed
all the tricks and tactics under the sun to fraudlently rig his brother (now
President George Bush) into the White House. All these happened in your
America......"the land of the saints". Although I hate terrorists and their
sponsors, but you can see what has been happening to America since the coming
of George Bush.

The monumental collapse of the American former Energy Giant... ENRON.. is a
typical example of how honest some of you are. The company's auditors
,Anderson, had American personnel and yet they cooked Enron's Account
Books to
indicate a very financially healthy company when indeed it was in very deep
RED. All its funds had been siphoned out through dubious paper contracts for
which money was paid. To proof Anderson's complicity in the whole affair and
its efforts to cover up the involvement of some prominent Americans, it
destroyed all the papers and information in their computers. We even
hear that
part of the stollen funds was used to foot part of the campaign bills of
President George Bush and yet, he still has the moral right to remain in
office. If that had happened in Africa or any part of the developing world,
George Bush and people like you would have cried blue murder and immediately
asked for that President's head. People have lost their life-time savings,
gratuities and pensions in the Enron scam and yet this is your America.

My dear friend, how many Americans or Europeans have gone to the CNN, BBC, or
VOA to publicly announce that they became millionaires or made huge amounts by
assisting some African leaders and their top government officials in
tranfering money abroad? Where are those people who helped in
transfering these
funds abroad? Are they all dead? Certainly not. Their 20--30% share of such
transferred funds are either in their private accounts or must have been
invested in some other ways. Even if we succeed in recovering some tiny
fraction of the looted funds from the leaders and govt. officials,none of the
20--30% share of foreign assistant's share will ever be recovered. That is the
gospel truth

So, I am not trying to scam or defraud you as you want to believe. You
have got
to trust and believe me. My transaction with you is for real and you will
never regret it. Let us do this deal together and we shall both be better for
it. I promise you that you will not loose anything as you will deduct all your
expenses from the funds

Just as there are some bad guys, there are also good guys. This is
true of any
country or place. I strongly believe you are a good, careful and cautious
person, hence you have gone to great lengths and debths to find out more about
this type of transaction. It is also only natural for me to have reacted the
way I did above, because it hurts very much to be wrongly accused and even
insulted. So pardon me if I must have overeacted.

Finally, let us get together and conclude this deal. Time is of the essence

The informations we need from you to commence this project is as follow
YOUR COMPANY NAME AND ADDRESS,YOUR BANKING DETAILS, TELEPHONE AND FAX
NUMBERS.As soon as we recieve this we will commence urgently.

I am waiting for your reply.

Best regard

DR UBA ABRAHAM

Some more quotes from lads

• Mr. James Nolan apparently thinks that when it comes to phone numbers. The thing is that all of these numbers are freely available to anyone, and they can point to anywhere:
  

  Mr James Nolan,(Director of Operations)
  Nat West Bank of London.
  Email: <snip>
  Phone Number:+44-702-402-5092
  Phone Number:+44-702-402-5094
  Phone Number:+44-702-402-5085
  Phone Number:+44-702-402-5087
  Phone Number:+44-703-183-2834
  Fax Number: +44-87-0912-4661

• Mr. Johnson Peter's company has this for a motto - SO WHAT CAN WE DO FOR YOU?WAITTING FOR YOUR RESPONDS.WE DO ALWAYS MAINTAIN OUR MOTTO. MAKING YOU HAPPY AS WELL KEEPING YOUR SECREETS FOR YOU.
  
  
• I don't get Mr. Smith, he was told that I was told by this other lad to mail him so that he could talk to me....
  

  I got your mail and did not like as you really sounded. But all the same I do not blame you as many things are happening on the Internet.

• Ekene Cy - WE the high court of nigeria 234 acknowledge your email today and we are so happy for you patronize .we have had all the email the you forward to us . now thank god that you contact the real high court of nigeria 234.
  
  
• Adams Osei - However, scam mails which people send to various individuals and companies on the internet have also made it so impossible for one to do business reliably with other internet users all over the world. I solicit and hope that this letter will not be considered of treated like one of those letters.
  
  
• If you didn't think this guy was strange before, here's more proof, in a letter purporting to have $11,400,000 (11.4 million dollars only). And yes, I do acknowledge that his name is spelt wrong, but some lads don't really know how to spell too well ;)
  
  

  Mr. Tom Matine Cruse (Credit Officer Caja Mar Banco Plc Madrid España)

  
  
• Mr ado's had some problems (probably a fake site shut down, or an email shutdown ;))
  
  

  This is to inform you that we are under going serious repairs to our domain and it has caused our Dear customers not to reach us through our main id successdeliverydiplomaticcourier... so you are hereby advice to send your entire correspondent via this mail box till we ratify the problem. We sincerely regret any in convinces this might have caused you.
  
  We shall notify you once the repairs are over.
  
  Thanking your for your anticipated cooperation.

• He don't get German I think... (Gruss Gott means Great God)
  
  

  Who are you and what you talking about. Who is Gruss Gott.

• Ray M Carter explains everything - I receive your mail, as i explained to you in my mail, the owner of the account is dead and every big deposit/account in the bank has next of kin, next of kin means the person that will inherit the money when the real owner is dead. So i want you to be the next of kin to the account, i have all the details of the deposit which i will send to you. If you do understand now let me know so that we can start.
  

Kola Ibrahim is testy

As with every relationship, it starts out so sunnily.

My name is Mr Kola Ibrahim; I am the regional manager of International
Commercial bank of Ghana Koforidua branch in the Eastern region of Ghana.

I got your information on a recent bank conference with other West African
countries held in Lome the capital city of Togo in West Africa . I write you this proposal in good faith; I am 47 years old married with two lovely kids. I am a devoted Christian and a man of peace.

I have packaged a financial transaction that will benefit you and me, as the regional manager of the International Commercial bank; it is my duty to send in a financial report to my head office in the capital city Accra at the end of each business year. on the course of the last year 2005 business report, I discovered that my branch in which I am the manager made sum of Twenty - seven million four hundred thousand united state dollars($27,400,000.00) which my head office are not aware of and will never be aware of. I have placed this funds on what we call fixed call account with no
beneficiary. As an officer of this bank

I cannot be directly connected to this money, so my aim of contacting you is to assist me receive this money in your bank account and get 30% of the total funds as commission. There are practically no risks involved, it will be a bank to bank transfer, and all I need from you is to stand claim as the original depositor of these funds who made the deposit in my branch so that my head office can order the transfer to your designated bank account.

If you accept to work with me I will appreciate it very much. My private phone number is 00233 244 875346 call me if you think we can work together so that we can go over the details. Thank you in advance and May God bless you and your family. Please don't forget to send me your personal contacts, addresses and phone numbers.

Yours Truly
Mr. Kola Ibrahim

A few nonsequitors is all it took to get Kola a little miffed. Peeved even.

Please if you interested in this business you let me know and if you are not interested please still let me know so that I know what to do.

I didn't like his attitude. Not one bit. And I told him so.

Listen, I don't like your attitude at all. NOT ONE FUCKING BIT!!!!!!!!! His heart is upheld, he will not fear, until he looks with satisfaction on his adversaries.

I want you to send me 3,250USD immediately if not sooner. If you don't then May you be pursued into the mountains by sex-mad baboons.. Call me immediately at +447092882462

You are a fucknut.

Oh Kola, what happened?

I HAVE FOUND OUT THAT YOU ARE A JOKER.
I DON'T DO BUSINESS WITH JOKERS
BYE

By this point I got down to brass tacks. I wrote simply:

certainly fucknut

Maybe I gave myself away with that though.

I SAID YOU CAN DO YOUR BUSINESS ELSE WHERE NOT WITH ME ANY MORE. YOU ARE NOT FOR BUSINESS.
KOLA

Come back Kola. Don't leave me this way. . . .

Some days it is great to be a scambaiter..

Baiting can make opening your email box a whole lot of fun.. ;) It might be a funny email, it might be a lad telling you to leave them alone, or it might be some half naked pics of a scammer..

There's a young man in Spain who is a scammer, he likes to steal money from people. Unfortunately he somehow met up with me and my good friend Sephy, both of us like to bait people who steal money from people. I like to take their heart and crush it slowly in my hands, because that is really what they do to people - they make them hope and dream of a large sum of funds, and then steal from them. While I can't (and wouldn't) steal from them, I can make them hope and dream of life with a gorgeous woman in an expensive house with Ferrari's and what not (think K-Fed) and then smash their hearts into a million tiny pieces with a large meat mallet, after sending them to the airport a few times to pick me up when I arrive in my private jet..

Before you say it's cruel, I actually have spoken with victims of these scams on many, many occasions. I have spoken to people who have just sent off money to a scammer they will never see again. I have spoken to people arrested for cashing fake checks. I have seen enough to know these scammers are criminals and in a lot of cases they do it not because they need the money, but because they want the BMW's and mobile phones and laptops and gold chains that you can afford when you are a scammer and not spending your own money.

This young man thinks I am a world famous supermodel with her own talk show and he is madly in love with me. He thinks she is madly in love with him, and that she wants to marry him.

Please i love your photos and your proffesion, i love your program very much and i never know i could meet someone like you talkless of asking for maariage, i never know you are so successful before i email you and tell you that i love you, i tell you that i love you before you open your self to me and let me know who you realy are even if you did not reveal yourself to me, i will still stand on my words that i feel in love to you. Babe girl, do you still love me or not? i still love you and will keep on saying that. Please i will like to hear from you today so that i can know my stand but i pray, i will win your heart and love again. Have a nice and wonderful day, God bless you.

The last time I spoke to him on the phone I said to him I had spoken to some of my modelling contacts and they wanted some photos of him with only underwear on so they could book some jobs for him. And today, they arrived. And here they are, for your viewing pleasure.. ;) If you like you can click for a bigger image.. ;) Or not, as the case may be..

I have no explanation for the deodorant or the tongue. Perhaps he thinks he can get a commercial? ;) It's a shame, he's not a bad looking guy and he seems to be working on a nice six pack there, but the guy is a criminal.. If you see him around, run! ;)

Lottery Scammers

The lads have trouble receiving attachments and faxes from me - possibly because I did not send them any.. ;)

• Your mail is recieved but i'm sorry i never see any attached file please can you check it and resend it,due he told me about your transfer so sir i need the form i gave him to send to you for the processing of the fund transfer.
  

• I acknowledge the receipt of your mail. but honestly i have to tell you that i have not recieved any fax from you
  

• You said you have made the payment but i did not get any fax in my machine so i would advise you to send me the confirmation recaipt to this email address immediately.
  

• Got your mail but pls do not complicate issues here because you have said it before that you sent the attachment abd i replies you that i dint see it and i also advised you to resend the details,once more for your own good resend the informations needed,thank you and have a nice day
  

• WE DID NOT SEE ANY ATTACH DOCUMENT YOU SENT TO OUR OFFICES IN YOUR PASS EMAIL YOU HAVE BEING SENDING TO US,WHAT DO YOU WANT US TO DO FOR YOU PARTTAINING TO YOUR CLAIM.FOR YOUR INFORMATION WE DONT HAVE ANYTHHING TO DO WITH YOUR MONEY.WE ARE ACTING ON INSTRUCTIONS.TIME IS FAR FROM US.WE WAIT YOUR REPLY BEFORE SENDING YOUR WINNIGS BACK TO THE UNITED KINGDOM LOTTERY BOARD UK.
  

• if you do not wish to follow up the proceedures please let me know, i said that i did not get any fax from you, or you do not understand english well? if you really want our help is proccessing your calim kindly send me the form if you did fill it up,
  

• I got your email and I will like to inform you that know details or attachment was sent by you according to the content of your mail.
  

• Amazing, this lad has received attachments from me when I did not send any! - I have received your email and it is my pleasure to inform you that we have your personal informtion so what is needed now is for you to make the delivery fee payment to our cash office in the name of our account officer for payment confirmation.You are to make the payment through MONEY GRAM to our account officer's name below.
  

• I got you mail, but i must let you know that i really do not understand you well, you said that you faxed back the form, but i did not get any thing from my fax, you can send it as an attachment to my mail, first you must understand that you are not doing me any fevor ok, cos i have alot to attaind to not only you, so if you really wish to claim this fund you have to follow the prceedures if not im sorry i can't help you.
  

The lads have trouble getting me on phone.. ;)

• I call you today agian it was in voicemail please you also can cal me it is your duty to do that
  

• I tried to call you but your line is not connecting.I want you to call me 2:30 pm your time
  

• I CALL YOU TODAY IS WAS NOT GOING PLEASE YOU CAN CALL ME FROM YOUR SIDE
  

• I call your telephone number it is always in voicemail but that is no problem if you like you can call me if it is necessary
  

The lads have trouble getting me to cooperate.. ;)

• I WILL STOP EMAILING YOU BECAUSE YOU DID NOT WANT TO COMPLY WITH MY DIRECTIVES.
  

• I don’t know anything about Honda whatever. you are talking about I think you have to be carefull. We work by procedure here.
  

• It seems you really need someone to talk with, for me a have alot to take care of so im very sorry we can not continue,
  

• We received your mail and the content was not understood. However, We want you to know that we cannot be dilibrating on one issue every day because this is an entity not just a body. The only advice we want to give you now is that when you are ready contact us for way forward.
  

• We received your mail and the content was quite undertood. However, we want you to know that we do not accept Gold as payment,we advice you to let us know as soon as you need payment method we only accept cash. We also want you to know that you do not have enough time to claim this winning fund,an information was given to us by the Microsoft Company about your winning information that you have to keep your winning information untill you receive your winning fund in your account due to the fact that some number where missing during the program , Remember to send us your contact number.
  

• Well you better chase after it and catch it then - After 13 mails - This is the final communication i will have with you till you prove you really want to make your claim.If you do not accept your award,kindly write me an official letter duely signed by you for that reason.I will file the letter at the head office and you will never receive my mails again.Time is running fast.
  

• After 14 emails, same lad, I thought the above was his final communication! - Why dont you call me on the phone if you are real or why dont you trust me? I cant beg you to claim your money.By monday i shall make my recommendation to the head office and believe me thast will be the end of this matter.I have tried my best for you but you seem to be dragging.Do what you think is right for you.
  

• morover if you dont belive please forget it they are so many poeple looking for what GOD has just gave you they are ready to pay any amounth to get this type of oppurtunity that you have got since you dont belive that very good you naw great a chance for other poeple

• i did get your 2 mails just this morning, i will call you on those numbers you provided, and i want to understand well, cos i do not seems to understand your mails,

• DO YOU THINK WE PLAY HERE OR WE HOLDING YOUR FUNDS,FOR YOUR INFORMATION WE DONT HAVE ANYTHHING TO DO WITH YOUR MONEY.WE ARE ACTING ON INSTRUCTIONS.TIME IS FAR FROM US,WE WAIT YOUR REPLY BEFORE SENDING YOUR WINNIGS TO THE UNITED KINGDOM LOTTERY BOARD.
  

• Iam still suprise that you have failed to understand my request from you.What i mean is that from my previous mails to you,you are expected to send to us your winning information.The winning information are the informations you are to submit to us to prove you a real winner in this lottery programme.
  

• I read through your mail and i observed that you are not quite sure about this lottery winning which you are suppose to be claiming in the next eight (8) working days.We do not beg lucky winners to claim their winnings but those that do not intend to claim, we will divert their money to a charity organisation where the money will have a better value.We are suppose to send you the cheque of 1,500,000 two days from today so that you can deposit the cheque against your account but since you do not intend to claim your money please sign this disclaimer form below.
  

• Please i must tell you i dont understand you if you dont want use to send you your price please feel free to send us a letter of refussal the money you where ask to pay is lawyert fee and delivery fee that is and if you can reson it with me you can see that the money is not much i have send you my interrnatoinal passport is that not a sorlide profe? (I think he means solid proof!) I will call you today
  

• We have communicated to you in several ways about how important it is for you to submit to this office the vital winning information as required by our company inorder to proccess your winning payment. In view of the above,we hereby inform you to discontinue sending us mails again as we have been fully convinced that you are not a winner in the lottery programme.We shall report to the police if you insist.

After 19 emails..

Music to my ears.. ;)

• I really do not understand what you are up to.I have received your informations and it has been processed and verified.For you to get your money now is contact the dispatch officer of Carlos James and make your payments as regards the delivery of your winnings.Our affiliate courier company to to deliver your winnings to you is the FEDEX COURIER SERVICE otherwords known as Federal Express Courier.Without the payments of your delivery cost,you will not be able to get your winnings.Sir i must let you know that you are stressing me and your case is getting tiring.please do the needful so you get your money.Remeber your winnings is at stake and you have been given less than one week to claim your prize if not am afraid you might loose it and it will be distributed to various charity organisations.Hope to hear from you soon.

This lad took only 11 emails to get a little annoyed.. ;) I think I might have said something wrong..

• Honestly,the contents of your mails looks very strange and awkward.What do you mean by NOT STUPID AS I LOOK? What exactly are you infering?
  
  I have served you with all diginity and respect and i'm convinced that i did and continue to do because of the realities of my job.I would like to inform you that i have no time for games.I guess you don't need your winning fund because you are so rich or what? If you don't need it,please write me an official note signed by you informing the Lotto Board of South Africa that you refuse the award.In that case,your money will be distributed to charities.
  
  On the otherhand,if you are interested in making your claims,then show some seriousness and willingness to that effect.Only when this is done would i look forward to assisting you receive your fund.kindly call me on my tel..Then we will discuss and find amicable solutions.If you do not do this,i will have no choice than to leave you visit S.A yourself and claim your money directly from the head office here in johannesburg.
  

His next email to me -

•   To be honest with you,your winng lottery fund was called back to the Lottery Board of South Africa trust account in Johannesburg Head office.This is due to your inefficiency to co-operate with me as your claims agent in arrangement towards getting your money transfered to you.I did my best in convincing you that you really won the money and did all i could so that you will receive your money.
  
   What did i get from all my efforts? You never tried to get back to me either buy mail or telephone.The telephone no. you gave me to call you was not functional.To me it looked as if you do not trust me or do not believe that you really won the money.I have informed you several times that my organisation is not affliated with any of the lotto companies you mentioned about.If those organisations are real,why haven't you received your money all along?
  
   Based on your non-challant attitude,i made recommendation to the Board and your fund was called back to the trust account. All hope is not lost,so what we can do now is for me to make a formal application on your behalf informing the Board that you where away out of your country for a business trip and you just came back and now you are ready to make your claims to receive your money.This can be arranged,but i'm not making any promise.I have to talk to my colleagues at the Head office.But remember that if i manage to convince them,you will now give me 20% from the total money.Is that okay with you?

Some funnies.

• What, am I supposed to just keep mailing you when you don't mail me? - Please you always write at one time and disappear. Please I want to know what is your interest. This is not how to do somethings. Also you always use Idioms for me. I was not born in the age of idioms and in our house and our school we don't use idiom. Please you want to help me you should show a good interest them I will tell you what you should do. I don't like it when you write me at one and then I will not hear from you. After a long time you will send me another mail. We should mature in this business. Please i am waiting for your mail.
  

• Mails can get you pregnant? - Welli am really tired of telling you to ignore the mail you recieve from such people, you once told me about recieving such mail, i advice you to turn on spermguard how did you recieve such mails, it seems you choose to toy with my feeling and that is not right have i demanded any money from you? Why such mail, i recently went to asia to confirm about the money last two weeks i met Mr.Frank Toyota we discussed alenght and i was made to know that all the problem we are facing is actually from you. Please if you choose to listen to the mails you recieve it means you do not trust actuallisation of the project is it? and you have my number why didn't you call! mail me your resound.
  

• I am sorry to respond back to your long awaited response it was due official shake up in my bank by right now everything is normal to the brim. Please I would like you to respond back to me with all your details as indicated herein.
  

• What is so spactcial about the call if you atre not think we are playing please tell me that you dont need the price they are so many poeple who ned it i can not be westing my time writing always to please noted that
  

• i have answer you this qiutoin before and i am repecting it agian i dont have websit or is it becuase you was ask to pay money for the delivery charge remember you are not paying the money to me the money you are reqiusted to pay is for DHL that will delever you ckeck to in the address you will provid that is all
  

• I guess my patience is up. your winnings is no longer in my possession.Bye

• How are you today.I have you made the payment? I am still waiting to hearing from you.May Almighty God bless you I have been knocking on your door,please open the door so that i will come in and eat with you.This offer is a dream but don't kill the dream. God will enrich you through it.Amen
  

• It's like a virus, it's going around.. - Thanks for your mail.Mrs paulina Hassan has been a good person and please,this is not a mere proposal from all those scamers ok.It is left for you to think about the assistance in regards to save life because this woman been with cancer and she she going to die as the doctor has said.But let me tell i will make sure that i will do every perfect legal work on the documents to make sure that all is alright,You should not loose sleep over this offer,I am assuring you that all legal documents will ok,I know that there is alot of internet scam going around in the world today but someone can not use his health to scam because he he/she needs money no God forbid ok.
  

• i don't have anythin to say since you open your mouth called me a 419 over 3 mounts ago and rember that you are the one who contacted me for the fest time and now you now called me scammer wel i dont have shoys the onlythin i know is that i can't beg you to received your cheque untill you vestigate unless the cheque is not belong to you. i don't have any thin to say.
  

• Your mail content and understanding tells me you are not serious. I pray God give me a good and honest person to help me accomplish this great goal. Have a nice day. Stop bothering me if I have to every day repeat myself to you. I contacted you with the mind that you can help and take your share of the entire proceeds.
  

• i am very much happy with your normerous emails which you sent to me.like i have said earlier, that this transaction is 100%risk free so you have nothing to be afraid of and beside i am the chairman of contract award committee(ccac) i shall put all machineries in place to enable the success of this tracsaction.you in particular has nothing to do with interpol

From a lotto scammer

This must be their way of appearing to be generous. Of course, the money doesn't even exist...

PLEASE NOTE THAT WINNERS WHO RESIDE CLOSE TO PEOPLE WHO WERE AFFECTED BY THE HURRICANE KATERINA AND THE HURRICANE RITA
WILL BE REQUIRED TO DONATE TWENTY PERCENT OF THEIR WINNINGS TO THOSE VICTIMS

What happens

when you tell a lad that you've supposedly sent money to a different person? They react to that news -

• comfort king - hi
  i happy for your reply pls let me tell you that i dont no what you are
  saying.what i am asking you is to help me to open an charity project.in your
  country.pls send your phone number so my lawyer can contact you.
  from comfort king
  
  
• azize kebe - I got your mail, but i dont really understand what you mean please kindly explane to me what you mean By I paid the 852 Euros fees to Charles Soludo??
  
  I contact you to be of assistnace to me and my old sick mother, who is in a hospital here surffring from breast cancer, and the funds in the security company is our only hope.
  
  
• UK Lotto - f-ck off and dont mail me again
  
  
• collins martins - I never can understand what you mean in your mail. But I should think that you'll have to send me your direct contact phone number so that we can talk things out on phone and get started without any futher waste of time. Am a well known person in the society, so you asking those questions is just a waste of time. You can aswell reach me on my own phone +27 7...
  
  
• Chin Wong - How did you get involve with Soludo???
  
  
• Kenneth Roberts - you made mention of paying $9,652 fees to Mr
  Knightly and why have your winnings not been send to you, I need to know
  when the money was paid to him and also send me the payment informetions.
  Hope to read from you soon.
  
  
• Eveline Mathieu - I don't understand the meaning of your mail.Please i want you to know that i contacted you for something very serious,i will like you to tell me if you can help me or not.i am waiting with hope to hear from you.You can send me your phone number so that i can call you for more discussion.
  
  
• Mr Wilford - Sequel to your last email,you are suppose the send the money to me not to Charles Soludo.Now i want you go and collect the money back from where you sent it from and inform me i will give you the informations on how to send the money to me.This have to be done immediately.
  
  
• Cole - Please give me more infromation so that i can do something about it okay?
  
  
• Mr Chinedu Eze - We received your message ,I don't know who is Mary Jane Jones so if you really want to assist me come up with all your mind i assure you that this transaction will be 100% successful and i want to let you know that you are free to ask any question that you feel to ask .And also what language do you speak ? tell me . And also i need your phone number and your first name and last name so that i can talk more with you . Thank you and God bless you .
  
  
• Robert lawson - thanks for your email, yes, you assist by paying that amount to charles soludo. the required oayment info will be sent to you as soon as you are ready to make the payment.
  
  
• This lad took on the name of the person I told him I had sent the money to - It's a plesure to wright you again, I will like to know what is going on, you are to get back to me so that we can finished everything this week.
  
  Regard,
  Mr Knightly Mark
  
  
• Alli Sharmed - Note Stop Further Contact With Who So Ever That Claim To be Charles Soludo.
  
  
• Mr Nicholas W.Hevron - I read your mail and i understand your plight,am very sorry that you fell in a wrong hand,please take it easy and note that you are in a safe hand now,well to inform you,It came to pass that you emmerge one of our lucky winners who won fourty thousand pounds sterling,and a TOYOTA CAR,I want you to know that this item will be made handed over to you as soon as you contact me.
  
  
• hello you have to go and get the money back and send it to this information here is the information,Peter E Asianah,toronto canada,via money gram money transfer and get back to me with information you given to you after you sent it.
  
  
• Arthur Hugo - Just listen, I do not want you to pay any more money to Mr. Knightly as I have finalized all issues of fee with him.
  Please disregard any information you receive from any official from this moment until you hear from me.
  
  
• Dr March - Thank you for your mail and the contents noted. You have to stop sending money to Knightly davek as the fund will be paid through london bank.
  
  
• Leonard Mensah - NB: After the G8 meeting, they got your information from the President’s office. Also we have being on the look and we know At this point there is an amount of money they have required you To pay to them and that is what you are seeking for but Those people you are contacting and dealing with in Africa Are fraudulent people and they having being sacked from the office?Understand that when you pay that money you will continue paying And paying until you are bank-rupt take it or lives it. Stop any Further correspondents with those so-called people is yahoo fraud bank in Africa They will not help you. The only thing I want you to understand Is the fact that your fund is coming to you to the united state of America through the United Nation to your doorstep.
  
  Think about it and get back to our office here in Africa .you can look at some of the federal site on scam artices www.efccnigeria.org it is a site built by the federal government Of Nigerian to fight against fraudulent officers and crimes like These
  
  
• BARR. SMITH MORGAN - it is a pity your past experince
  i believe God want to use this golden opportunity to bless you
  send your telephone number to me so that i call you to give you more details on how this fund will transfer into your account without delay
  
  
• Barry Levi - I got your mail, and the content was well noted. I am ready to help you, but this is what you are to do. I will advice you not to send any more mail to Charles Soludo in other for me to handle this issue very fast.
  
  Anytime he mail you, don't make any reply to his mail, forward every thing to my mail box.
  
  
• Doris Peterson - No this is not why i write you, but who is Charles Soludo?
  
  However, i want to send this money to you as donation for the church, if you can distribute this money to the church and to the children of God, then respond to me so that we can proceed.
  
  
• David Clarkson - can i get u better?who is jane jones?what do u feel like u want to do for me have we ever talk?i will like to talk with u so that i can get all what u are talking about.
  
  
• Jubril Sadiq - I am really surprise at what you are saying that you have spent $9,652 Mr.Knight without a sign of any funds transfered to your bank account.This is very dissappointing and my advice now is that you suspend whatever communication you have with him in your own interest.These are people I feel that are just out to divert our payment to some unknown bank account.
  
  
• Greg Williams - You are not suppose to send the money to Mary Jane Jones. Rather you are suppose to send the money to Mr. Robert Wright in London.
  
  More over the amount you are to send is not $3,690, rather $2,690. Please get back to me and I will let you know how to send the money to Mr. Robert Wright in London.
  
  From,
  Greg Williams
  NOTE: What is your First Language?
  
  
• "Managing Director" - We want you to stop Contacting MR. KNIGHTLY at the moment, We don't know him. Please get back to me with all the Email he has sent you and send your Details to us so that we can help you in any way we can.
  
  Don't respond to any of his Email again, Get back to us now so that we can know how to go about and look for MR. KNIGHTLY. We await your urgent reply ASAP..
  
  Thanks
  
  
• Gloria Kate Asuzu - I am exceedingly glad when i got your responce to my message to you,despite your urgly experience before.
  
  
• George Daniels - I m happy to recieve your mail,nut i think we are having some misunderstanding here,who are you sending the 852 euro.i will like to talk with you,pls kindly send me your contact number so i can call you and explain things to you proparely.
  
  
• Musa Isa - I AM DR.MUSA ISA FROM THE OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENCY OF FEDERAL OF GOVERNMENT OF NIGERIA,I HAVE BEEN INSTRUCTED TO LOOK INTO YOUR PROBLEM THAT HAD BEEN THERE FOR SOMETIME OVER YOUR FUND WHICH HAD BEEN OVER DUE FOR PAYMENT.
  
  I WILL LIKE YOU TO INFORM ME WHAT HAD BEEN THE CAUSE OF THE PROBLEM AND WHY IT HAD BEEN THERE FOR ALL THIS WHILE SO THAT I CAN HELP PUT ALL THESE TO AN END ONCE AND FOR ALL.
  
  IF I HAVE FOUND OUT THAT THERE IS NOTHING HOLDING YOUR FUND I WILL INSTRUCT THE RELEASE OF IT TO YOU WITHOUT ANY KIND OF DELAY AND YOU MUST STOP ANY DEALING WITH ANYBODY UNITL YOUR IS PAID TO YOU.
  
  
• Jane Jane - How are you doing ?hope you are fine ,pls my laptop got lost i lost every thing we have being doing over this transaction,could u pls foward to me all our conversation including the fee of US5,400 you paid with the informations.
  
  Dont write any body yet over this business until you here from me,as those who stole my pc may wish to write you.
  
  
• Barrister mark - YOU CAN MAKE THE PYMENT IN THE WESTERN UNION TO MR AIGBE OVIEBO LIVING IN ITALY.
  
  BARR.MARK
  
  
• Vivian Cole - No it has got nothing to do with the 852 Euros. There are proceedures and mandated charges that must be met in this transaction.
  You are to send 1200 Euros for final complition of this transaction so that things dont get complicated and take longer time.
  I wait to hear from you so that we can proceed.
  
  
• Lawer Johnson - am sorry,
  I acknowledge your loss due to some unworth people in charge of the transfer.
  A new turn has taken place and i am the only geniue lawer as solictor charge of your transfer,
  the only money to be paid for your transfer is $150.if not.the case will be cleared never to resurface again
  LOOK I KNOW HAW YOU FEEL BUT AM ASURE YOU THAT THIS IS THE END
  SEND ME YOUR PHONE NUMBER SO I CAN CALL YOU
  
  
• Patrick - Greetings and thanks for your urgent response to my mail but i am very sorry for my late response to your massage due to i travelled to a nearby country for a bankers conference which i return today.Regards to our transaction,many letter has been coming to our office complaining that they have be scam but this is due to they went to a wrong way to do business instead of coming direct to a real banker or feel free to come over to the country and see things them self.
  
  Therefore in our conference meeting,we discuss about this issue and promise to deal mercilessly with anybody cut with this kind of ack and also our federal government here will handle the person and put him to judgement.So all i want you to do is to indicate your interest and feel free to do this transaction with me without entertaining any fear and also understand that you will come to my country to meet me facely if you want just to assure you whom i am.
  
  Finally,the only money you have to spend in this transaction is that of the APPLICATION FEE of which i will forward to you to fill and send to the bank for final fund release into your account in your country.I promise that this is the only and only money you will put in this transaction and rest assure within 9 working days from the day you send the APPLICATION the bank will transfer the fund to your account as long as i am concern.So kindly indicate your interest now and also fill free to call me on +233
  
  
• Swiss Lotto - your english not too good but u under stand "YOUR MAMA"
  
  
• Steven Okoli - Thank you for your mail,i have already understood what you mean but i must asure you that my case i very very different with what you are talking about and i believe that you will not regret any thing you do with me,you can understand that mr A is bad does not mean that mr B must be bad but just try me and you will see the different.
  
  I like poeple like you who will always come out with their feelings than hiding it,if you agree with me i will then tell you what you should send to me to actualise this dream very fast.
  hoping to hearing from you.
  
  
• Prof: Charles C. Sludo (who was told that the money was sent to Charles Soludo) - I have acknowledge the receipt of your mail, I hereby to inform you that I have being authorized by Federal Government and president Olusegu Obasanjo to remit your fund your without any further delay, kindly reconfirm your banking information to enable to enable us carry on with our duty.
  
  Be inform that CBN is not aware of the money which you have already spent, from our investigations, we found out that those who collected money from you are our sacked staff who are using our international payment Data to defraud people of which you one of the victim.
  
  Furthermore, as the Executive Governor of this bank, I am ready to help you receive your fund without any hitch, in this case, I would want you to please reconfirm your private telephone number, home and office address, Age and occupation, after the requested information is been received, then I will let you know the next step so that you will receive your fund within 24 banking hours.
  
  We are sorry for any inconveniences this must have cause you and we assure you the best of our service, and we advice you not to respond to any mail you may receive apart from this office or without instruction from this office for security reasons.
  
  
• Simon Rob - I got your mail, I am suprise that you are asking me if you can help me. I contacted you in respect of the amount to be sent. Mary Jane Jones will not be available for some time as from today. On this note you are to send the money to Sandra Isaiah and the email to be used is {snip}, pay the 852Euros to this name and not Mary Jane Jones.
  
  
• Mathew Kwami - I have read your mail,ofcourse i am writing from my home before going to the office as all my communications with you are suppose to be confidential,This transaction is true and real and i am not mr knoightly,so if you are ready to assist me ,i will ask you to do so,because both of us will stand to benefit.
  
  Our people use to say,taht you may make up a fire to burn a bush but it might not but a common careless butt of cigarette thrown by the corner of a bush might make the fire.
  
  So this is not something i will ask you to do without your will,think about it and give me the go ahead and i will furnish you with the modality which i have fashioned out to see to the successful transfer of this fund.
  
  I need your consent early as i will like us to have this done before the ending of this month november.
  
  I always trust that if you will assist me ,it will be out of your own volition.
  
  I will wait for your response.
  
  
• Barr.Ben Tony.Esq - Thanks for your urgent response, the content was well understood by me, am not charles olodu or what do you call is name, am a plain and God fearing Man, go through the details of this Transaction and get back to me.
  
  
• John Simon - I am in receipt of your mail and I am very shocked to note how Mr Khightly capitalised on his knowledge of my boss's package for you to defraud you.Even your draft has not been issued by the time he contacted you over this matter.It is very unfortunate and I had already informed my boss about the criminal activity of Mr Khightly who advised me to contact the Police.Presently,Mr Khightly is on the run and I advise you to stop further communication with him and to furnish me with his phone number and address for Police investigation and possible arrest to refund your money.
  
  Now my Boss has left instructions that the cheque involving the sum of US$850,000 only be handed over to you in lieu of appreciation for the initial assistance rendered to him while trying to transfer some funds abroad.
  
  Though,according to him,the deal could not sail through with your assistance inspite of concerted efforts which made him to seek another foreign partner who eventually assisted him.
  
  But as a man with the fear of God,he reasoned that your initial assistance inspite of everything should not go unrewarded-hence the provision for the cheque before his departure for Paraguay on a business trip.
  
  
• Barriseter Robert - i the payment goes to the wrong hand that is why i wrote you,
  please send the payment to me and not any other person. so i complete the
  transaction.
  when you are ready to send the payment i will an information where you make the
  payment.
  NOTE .be aware of scammers in the internet. so do not sent the money again to any other address. always contact me with email address.
  
  
• Barr. K Williams - YUO HAVE SENT THE MONEY TO THE WROUNG PERSON, NOW WITHDRAW THE MONEY IMMEDIATELY AND SEND TO MRS HELLEN NORMAN IN TORONTO CANADA, SHE IS MY ASSISTANCE, SEND ME A SCAN COPY OF THE RECEIPT OF PAYMENT AFTER PAYING.
  
  
• Kenedy James - YOU ARE A VERY BIG FULL IDIOT, NIGERIA 419 HUGRY BOYS.
  
  
• John Howse - If you can be trusted as you sound with concerned, total commitment and little assistance to this transaction we will both achieve our aim in a short time. Get your mind relaxed and follow my instruction and directives as i will be given all you need as your back up for this claim in case you receive any questions for clarification from the bank. I must reassure you that this transaction is 100% percent risk free. STOP ALL THE CONTACTS YOU ARE HAVING WITH MARY JANE JONES IMMEDIATELY AS SOON AS U GOT THIS EMAIL.
  
  
• Simon B. Zola - This is to acknowledge your e-mail and to express my concern towards you paying someone for the transfer of fund which may not be real.
  
  I would like to help you recover this money and give it back to you, We have been working together with Some Private Security Agents to bring such fraudulent people to book.
  
  So i assure you that we can get these people only if you could be helpful to yourself by providing us their contact details, to enable us authorise the Private security Agents to get them and recover your money.
  
  For your own good, do not inform them that you are no more interested. But do not pay any more money to these people for any reason whatsoever.
  
  
• Susan Momodu - I think you can help me if you really wish to. You will regain all that you have lost through Mary Jane Jones and will be well compensated for your assistance.
  
  
• Paul Freeman - As regards to the money you paid to the so called Mr. Charles Soludo, i will like to know why you paid that money so that i will be able to help you in my capacity as an attorney to see that what ever be the reason for the payment is really actualised. Please forward your phone number to me so that i can call you.
  
  
• Allen Shawn - This is to inform you that this office received and acknowledged your brief messages as we apologised for responding late to you..
  
  However this office is sorry to announce to you that Mr Knightley Mark is no longer an employee with this organisation.
  
  Mr Knightley has been dismissed and also facing court trial for mismanagement of company's fund , we will like to know your past transcations with Mr Knightley in details to help us know how to help you as this office has been receiving several complains like yours recently..
  
  
• Mariam Abdul - You can help me only if you will be williing.Don't listen to gossips but if you can't I will look for some one else but conerning the mary jane jones I know nothing about that.I will wish you to tell me more concerning her matter ok
  
  
• Terry Williams - U ARE A BIG TIME FOOL
  
  
• Nosa Henry - Subject: GO AND LOOK FOR WORK
  
  you must be mad
  at the same time you are idot did i beg to send me money go to hell
  with your EFCC
  
  
• Ivah Mullam - You read my proposal right? I hope this is not another Chatham? Well, this transaction is not what we can discuss on Internet alone.Here is my contact mobile Telephone number +228.Call me or give me your direct phone number so that I can call you to enable us discuss more about this matter.I hope you are real.Waiting for your reply.
  
  
• Khalid! - kindly forward the last payment slip and the information you sent to enable me understand the payment you have made.
  
  
• Mary Jones - hi am sorry for that i just need ur help ok for some think ok plz
  
  
• A L - i WANT TO KNOW WHO YOU SENT THIS EMAIL TO. THIS WILL ENABLE THE OWNER TO
  REPLY IMMEDIATELY
  
  
• Agent_cfggames0 - How are you doing today ? I presume all is well with you.
  I would like you to send me the details of all payment you have made to the so called Soludo. This is very important as to know exactly where things had gone wrong.
  As you must have heard of the ongoing reforms in Nigeria regarding corrupt office holders.
  Th presidency is very interestd in your case , so please furnish me with all I needed to know about the transactions you have made so far.
  Best REgards.
  

Western Union troubles.. ;)

A while ago I sent a little money ($5) via Western Union and I was aware I could call Western Union and ask them to stop the transfer, and doing this leaves the online status as funds available for pick up. So I now have this WU number which lets the lad think their money is only a short trip away.. and it creates all kinds of fun.

However this one lad seems to have been given some incorrect information when he went to get the funds and he is very upset about it.. ;) He was being baited by my Non-English character which at the time was German. It means little effort on my part because my character does not speak English well, and plenty of effort on the lads part as they always have to be explaining things.

We start from asking the lad how to send the money.. :) My character is in this color and the scammer is in this color.

He sais send the moneis by Westrn Unon or somethink and I not know how to do it, how I do it?

Dear Brother Maira

you must send the money to the office of the delivery agents with the name of there recieving person in West Africa as the name stated below:

MR HUMPFREY JIYAKE
Address: Enugu Nigeria

I want you to go to any western union office nearest to you and ask them that you want to send money to your friend, just use the name and location i give you to send the money to the office of diplomatic agent, also make sure that you dont disclose anything to the western union office for security reasons as you know that our business is very confindentail,so you dont have to tell anybody about it now utill the money get your care.

Try to send the money today with this name MR HUMPFREY JIYAKE ADDRESS ENUGU NIGERIA and detail me with the western union control numbers so that we can pass it to the delivery agent office to enable them confirm the money and as well proceed to deliver the consignment to your care, my dear bear in mind that the delivery agent did'nt know the real content of the consignment,therefore you must not tell him that the content of the consignment is money at the point of delivery, your duty is to pay the 4,500 pounds today through western union today and detail me with the western union payment information so that the diplomat will be able to pay for the clearance of the consignment from the ware-house and hence establish immediate delivery of the consignment to you,once you send the 4,500 pounds through the name i give you today, the diplomat will surely bring the consignment to your care immediately, at the same time i will like you to lodge the money to your safe bank
account till we meet for share and investment.

Give me your direct mobile telephone so that i will contact you and have voice to voice talk with you, as the one you gave me was always on asnwering machine, or you can dial this number like this and call me or so that we can talk it very important.

I trust you and hope that you will never disappoint me once your get the money from the diplomat, i want you to tell me that you will not treat me bad in this business once you get the money.

Make sure you send the any mistake when sending the 4,5000 pounds through western uninon today, make sure you use the name i give to send the money today immediately so that you can able to recieve the consignment.

Thanks reply back to me.
yours brother
Mr Colin Mathew.

See, now this is good baiting, one sentence put in, a shitload of sentences in return. :) I like this lad, we'll keep him. For now. Although my character is Female and he is referring to me as Brother!

God says you go hell for make me sit here with moneis scared out of wits not know what do.

WHAT I DO NOW?

And now the dreaded CAPS LOCK comes to us as a surprise.. ;(

WELL I WANT YOU TO SEND THE FEES OF 4,500 POUNDS IMMEDIATELY VIA WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER TO THE BELOW NAME

MR HUMPFREY JIYAKE
ADDRESS: ENUGU NIGERIA

ONCE YOU SEND THE MONEY TO THE SAID PERSON, TRY TO PASS THE W-U P[AYMENT INF TO ME SO THAT I WILL PASS IT TO THE CHIEF DELIVERY OFFICE FOR CONFIRMATION, IT WILL ALSO ENABLE THE DIPLOMAT TO CLEAR THE CONSIGNMENT FROM THE SECURITY VAULT AND CVOMMENCE THE DELIVERY OF THE CONSIGNMENT TO YOUR DOOR STEP, TRY TO SEND THE MONEY IMMEDIATELY SO THAT WE CAN ACHIEVE OUR GREAT SUCCESS IN THIS BUSINESS.

YOU KNOW THAT THE MONEY INVOLVED WAS 15M POUNDS THEREFORE WE CAN'T PLAY WITH IT, TRY TO SEND THE MONEY IMMEDIATELY SO THAT THE DIPLOMAT WILL BRING THE CONSIGNMENT TO YOU.

THANKS AND HAVE A NICE DAY,
YOURS PARTER
COLIN MATHEW

So the WU number and sender name you see below, I have changed, of course. I don't want the lads googling and finding this.. ;)

I no had time to go to union office today so I sent my partner he sent monies

Sender's Name: Kurt Cobain
MTCN: 5986673215

As you ask 4,500 US. ok?

Now what?

Now, no caps at all, apparently. Must have used up his allowance in the previous mail.. ;)

dear maria,

how are you doing today, well i confirm the payment detail you claim you sent for the cleranace fees, well i pass the info to the clearance officer he said that he go to the western union office to cliam the fees but he was proved by the western union office that the info of the payment you sent was invalid.

on the best solution i want you to go to the western union and request for a proper payment information so that the diplomat officer will claim the fees and pay for the delivery of the 15m pounds to you.

try to send the valid information by sending the below info:

mtcn number
text question/answer
amount
full sender name

all this info will enable the diplomat claim the fees and as well deliver the consignment to your door step for sharing and investment.

i trust you and hope that you will never let me down.
i will be waiting to receive the info.
have a nice day,
colin mathew

And it would be nice if you would get my name right when I am sending you large sums of money! Or even small sums, like $5. And believe me, I will let you down. I promise!

informatuons I sent is correct. I not undesrtand. why you sent someone else collect, why not YOU go collect it, no wonder they not give yout eh moneys is your name his? is his name yours? how you think they give moneys to him when i sent them to you?

Get off fat ass collect moneys today.

What you needs this money for anyway?

I'll be honest, a non-English speaking character can be hugely fun to play ;) Just the mis-spellings and twisting sayings around, I love it.

Dearest Marira,

I got your, yes i have reached western union to pick money, i shall relate with the info as soon as i the money pick it up.

I didn't mean that i sent some to pick up the money, but it is the clearance officer that is the person that will clear the consignment and bring it to your care.
I want relax as i will go to western union to pick up money so that the diplomat will pilot the 15m pounds on your care, for sharing and investment.

Once i conform the payment via western union i will let you know immediately.

I trsut you.

yours brother
colin mathew

And still, he gets the name wrong.

You go there say Maira sent this money from London United Kingdom and the question was Wo kann ich hier ein Kamel mieten? and the answer is Da liegt eine Leiche auf dem Bett. Bitte wechseln sie die Laken.

Google is your friend, my friends, I'm not translating it for you.. ;) But it is worth a google, at least the answer is..

Dearest Mariora,

How are you doing today, I go to the western union to collect the fees, but they refused to pay the money to me, because you didn?t stated the correct information which will enable the western union to pay the money to me.

Note that the fees is at the western union office now, but I can?t pick it up, because you don?t sent the correct payment info, I want you to go to the western union and collect the correct payment info and send to immediately to enable me pick of the fees immediately.

The payment info you will send to me to enable pick the fees is at follow:

1) Name of sender
2) Text question and answer
3)mtcn number
4) Amount

Note that the location of the payment is Nigeria so you should send the money down to Nigeria with this address and name of receiver

Reciever Name: MR HUMPFREY JIYAKE
Address: 4 lion drive enugu

Kindly use the info to correct the mistakes of the payment info and send to me the correct info so that I will be able to receive the fees from the western union and clear the consignment immediately and deliver to your care.

With all this info the western union will be able to release the money to me, I hope to receive the correct western union info from immediately, you can as well attached to me the receipt of the payment from the western union ok.

I trust you and hope that you will not let me down.
Have a nice day,
Colin Mathew

So I bodgy up some info and make it up, and send it..

Sender's Name: Kurt Cobain
MTCN: 5986673215
Amount 4,500 US.
Reciever Name: MR HUMPFREY JIYAKE
Address: 4 lion drive enugu

Those are the informaciones

Note I did not give him the question and answer again. Well heck I already sent it. Does he expect me to do all the work? ;)

Email Subject - BAD NEWS/ I AM FINISHED

DEAREST PARTNER MARIORA,

I VERY SAD, I WENT TO WESTERN UNION TO CONFIRM THE PAYMENT THIS MORNING WITH THE PROPER INFORMATION YOU SENT TO ME NOW, BUT THE WESTERN OFFICE ATTENDANCE TOLD ME THAT THE FEE WAS PICKED UP BY ON KNOWN PERSON YESTERDAY, SO I FELT SOO BAD ABOUT THE INCCIDENT, AT THIS POINT I AM WRITING TO YOU I AM CRYING NOW,BECAUSE THINGS ARE VERY DIFFICULT.

MY DEAR I FINISHED I DONT KNOW WAHT TO DO, IF YOU CAN RESEND THE FEES AGAIN, I WILL BE MORE GREATFUL TO ENABLE ME CLEAR THE CONSIGNMENT FROM THE SECURITY WARE-HOUSE TO ENABLE THE DIPLOMAT BRING THE CONSIGNMENT CONTAINING THE 15M POUNDS IN YOUR CARE FOR SHARING AND INVESTMENT.

MY DEAR MAKE SURE YOU SEND THE MONEY THROUGH THE SAME NAME AND ADDRESSS, WHEN SENDING THE FEES AGAIN YOU SHOULD MAKE SURE YOU GIVE ME THE CORRECT WESTRN UNION INFORMATION TO PICK IT UP BERORE THE BAD POEPLE WILL TAMPER IT, BECAUSE I DONT WANT US TO BE A VICTIM AGAIN.

MY DEAR NOTE THAT ANY MONEY YOU SPENT WILL BE PAY BACK, BEFORE SHARING OUR MONEY SO YOU SHOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT, TRY TO SEND ANOTHER MONEY SINCE DELAY CAUSED ANOTHER PERSON TO PICK THE FEES YOU SENT BEFORE, YOU CAN ALSO GO TO THE WESTERN UNION OFFICE TO VERIFY THE WRONG PERSON THAT PICKED THE MONEY FROM THERE OFFICE.

SEND ME YOUR MOBILE NUMBER SO THAT I WILL TALK TO YOU IMMEDIATELY.

I WILL BE WAITING YOUR REPLY,
YOURS PARTNER
COLIN MATHEW

I personally think the bad news is the reappearance of the CAPS LOCK - or as we scambaiters like to call it, the LAD LOCK. But this is hilarious! The money is still there *now* as we speak. I do not know why he has got such messed up info.. I think he actually called me around this time but I'm not sure where the audio is, I'll try to find it..

I don't know what I do. Maira very confussed. I thought to sent the moneis to your bank account would be best thing, ja

He is so upset he seems to miss this invitation to ask me to send more money and is just moping about the loss of his Western Union moneys..

Dearest partner Maira,

I got your mail, well I am very ill since I confirm by the western union office that the fees was paid by a wrong person, I a m very angry and tired about the inccident , however you said that you called me but my number wasn?t going through, is true because my phone was off, I was feeling bad all this time because the fees I didn?t collected, even my wife and is not happy about that.

However I told you to make a way to send the fees from International Money Gram since western union is not safe anymore, what caused all this is because you don?t send the proper information which I suppose to use to collect the fees at the first time you sent the fees, which warrant the bad people in the western union office to have chance to dupe the fees, I want you to go to the western union office and verify the wrong people they paid the fees immediately.

My dear it like a dream I can?t sleep since then, I knew how thing are difficult now, I knew how you will feel but I felt bad more than you because by now something has to be done, if I succeeded collecting the fees, therefore I want you to try to send the fees again via Money Gram Transfer with the same name location and address given to you so that I will be able to clear the consignment from the security ware-house to enable the diplomat convey the 15m pounds in your door step for sharing and investment.

My dear note that more time the consignment stays at the vault more risky it become and as well more money I spend for the safe keeping, I want you to send the 4,500 pounds immediately through money gram so that I will be able to clear the consignment , I will like you considering sending the fees in two part with the same information to avoid any more problems.

I will like you use Money Gram International Transfer to send the 4,500 pounds so that I will be able to clear the consignment immediately, as the agent that will convey the 15m pounds to your care Is anxiously waiting for the clearance of the consignment to enable him convey it to your care immediately, try to make this way by sending the fees, as you will get all your spending back as soon as we conclude this business.

I trust you and hope that you will not let me down, I shall remain in full confident on you till the end of this blessed business that will be a great benefit to the both families generation to generation, I need your full co-operation so that we can achieve this great success and have the fund on our side for sharing and investment.

I will b waiting to receive the fees as you send it, remember to detail me with the full payment information for easy collection.

Make sure you keep this business your self and pray for the success of the business, i will call you now.
Thanks and have a nice day,
Yours brother
Colin Mathew

And apparently even his wife is upset about it. Oh well. Build a bridge and get over it mate! But now Western Union has let him down so greatly he wants to switch to Moneygram. But now I accuse him of picking up the money and lying to me!

I sent ze information TO YOU.

How did someone else pick up ze moneis? It was sent to YOUR NAME. I ONLY sent the information TO YOU, ja? You steals this moneis and lies to me about it, I think!

Dearest Mariroah,

I got your mail, I knew how you feel, but you have to understand that I
didn?t picked the fees, as the money was picked up by on known person,
well to proof my innocent I asked you to go to the western union office to
verify the person that picked up the fees, then you will know that are not
responsible of that.

I want to let you know that they have some bad staff that working with
western union, that used to pickup people money from there office, so you
I AM INNOCENT.

Kindly know what you will do to raise another fee to send, so that the
consignment will clear immediately and deliver to your care, I am very
eager to conclude this business with you, because you are the only one I
trust who I can confident on.

You should try to understand, as I am writing this mail to you I am
crying, because you don?t want to understand me, you think that are l am now a
lier,because of this temptations but God will be my witness.

Try to make a way to resend another fees, so that I will be able to
clear the consignment in the ware-house and deliver to your care either by
diplomat or by banking process, I will also like you to open new account with
the bank that working hand in hand with our bank where the 15m pounds will
be transferred.

4,500 pounds will not cause our good relationship which took us to to
built in trust to be divided just like that, God will not allow that to
happen, all the enemy works against our success will be in vain.

Make a way to send the clearance fees through the same info I gave you
earlier, may be you can us international Money Gram, since western union is
no safer.

I will be looking forward to hear from you.
Yours truly,
Colin Mathew

The more upset he gets, the more letters I seem to gain in my name.. ;)

i THINK YOU TRY CHEAT ME

Dearest Mrah,

I am very worried over the incident that happened to us, well I have proof my self innocent on that, you should reply my mails so that we can proceed to achieve our success in this business.

I am anxiously waiting receive your mail because you are the only person I trust in this business and hope that you will not disappoint me.

Awaiting your reply,
Yours sincerely,
Colin Mathew

God tell me you try cheat me, is this so?

God say - For He rescued us from the domain of darkness, and transferred us to the kindgdom of His beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins. Those who hate you will be clothed with shame, and the tent of the wicked will be no longer.

When you want to annoy a lad, throw in a few random bible quotes which seem to suit the situation.. :)

Dear Maira,

I have been writing without no response from you, kindly reply my mail so that I shall relate you the best way which we shall use to conclude the business, because I am anxiously to conclude the business with you base on the trust I found on you.

Kindly get back to me, because time is almost against us, be noted that I have carried out an investigation regards the stolen fund in W-U union office, anybody caught responsible will be persecuted, so don�t worry about everything is in full control, kindly reply my mail!!!!

I am anxiously waiting to hear from you, I called your phone time after time but is always on answering machine, kindly contact me it is very important.
Thanks and have a nice day,
Yours good friend,
Colin Mathew.

Right. I see. I'm not so sure myself, but if it makes you feel better Colin.. ;)

This scammer is still on the hook, he's already been to Western Union at least twice that we know of, and I am thinking I might send him a few other places before I'm done with him.. I'll let you know any further updates, and if I find the audio.. :)